For example, recently we altered the way we handle our finances. Historically, discussions about money did not go well. This has changed. It is such a relief to have adult conversations about money! We make financial decisions, pay the bills and just deal with financial matters without worry or struggle!
The exploration of relationships, particularly our own, has been a rewarding experience and extremely satisfying. We have learned to be at peace with the fact that we each have our own point of view. We do not have to argue about our points of view, or resolve differences, nor do we have to convince the other of our own point of view. We have simply learned to appreciate our shared commitments, and appreciate each other just as we are. This has provided much more space to appreciate and have fun with one another.
We experience being in a dance with one another where we can play, laugh, produce results -- and have fun! We are so in love!!
Carol and Jeff England
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Carol and Jeff England live just north of San Francisco in Petaluma, California, where they are very involved in their community's service organizations. They are the parents of three and grandparents of four. We thank Carol and Jeff for their contribution. |
| Jeff and Carol in Los Cabos |
We invite each of you to write an article sharing your own experience - what you have been going through, what you have been discovering, what you have accomplished, or anything else that you might wish to share - and make a difference in relationships and families all around you.
With our appreciation,
Sandy and Lon
(760) 603-8343
Email sandy@familiesbydesign.com & lon@familiesbydesign.com
A relationship can readily be viewed as a game. There are many similarities:
The last statement is not really accurate. A game does not have rules. A game is rules. Monopoly is its rules. If you are not playing Monopoly according to its rules, you are not playing Monopoly. You may be playing, but not in the game of Monopoly.
Rules are nothing more (or less) than agreements - which are promises (made and accepted). When you sign up to play a game, you are promising another or others to act and behave in a particular manner.
Relationships are formed by promises. If promises have not been made (and accepted), you may be interacting but you are not in a relationship. A relationship is its promises. And if you are not keeping your promises, you are not in the relationship. You may be in an interaction, but you are not in the relationship. (And you are probably having problems because relationship is missing.) By reinstituting the promises, you get back into the relationship.
Extraordinary promises form extraordinary relationships.
(e.g. Carol and Jeff's "The Back Door Is Closed" game.)
| Oct. 17-24 | Hawaii | Extraordinary Relationship I: The Wonder of It |
| Nov. 14-21 | Los Cabos | Extraordinary Relationship II: Living It |
We are nearing the deadlines for getting our special prices at our venues. Please go to our website, www.relationshipbydesign.com, to look at the flyers. And then contact us right away to register and begin your planning for your vacation.
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In response to several requests, we have revised the schedule of our next set of teleconversations. Set #7 will now be on the following Thursday evenings: October 1, 15 and November 5. And the topic will be Trust. The calls go from 6:00 pm to no later than 7:15pm PDT (9:00 to 10:15pm EDT). The set of three teleconversations costs $75 per twosome or family. Please call us to register. Or e-mail us, and we will call you.
Monday, September 21, is Peace Day across our country and throughout the world. We invite you to go to the website of a dear friend of ours, www.peaceinourlifetime.org. Please observe the day in a manner that expresses your commitment to people experiencing peace in their lives.