"What if my partner and/or I are attracted to someone else?" is a fear/question we often hear from people as they engage in forming or reforming a relationship.
What there is to see and say about that concern could probably fill at least one book - and also evoke the times when we were younger and we selected something, like a piece of candy, only to see something that looked even better after we made our selection.
But the real question is not "What if…?". It's "When…?" Being attracted to other members of the species comes with being human. It has been a human trait for thousands of years - it ensures the survival of the species. It's the old law of attraction. And in all probability, we will continue to be attracted to others for the rest of our lives.
The question begins as "When we're attracted to others, what do we do?" But it becomes, "What is going to determine your behaviors when you are attracted to others?" Are you going to act out/dramatize the attraction and behave inconsistently with promises you made? If the answer is yes, you should know that you are exiting the relationship that was built on those promises. And this is true for all kinds of relationships - including business relationships.
Promises form the foundation and determine the form of a relationship. Keeping those promises nurtures the love (or affection or affinity in the case of non-romantic relationships) that is the context of a relationship. Fulfilling promises isn't the good or right thing to do; it's an expression of honor and respect, and it moves relationships from being merely histories to being creations of the future.
A way to stay disentangled from the web of fantasy surrounding attraction to someone other than your partner is to communicate the attraction to your partner.Take care of each other,
Sandy &Lon
To offset some of the tension, stress and upset that often accompanies the planning and preparation for the holiday season, we invite you to join us for a teleconversation, Families and the Holidays.
We will present the conversation three times, Sunday 12/6, Wednesday 12/9, and Thursday 12/10, and you can join us for the one that best suits your schedule. The calls will begin at 6:00pm PST (9:00pm EST) and end by 7:15pm PST (10:15pm EST).
There is no charge for this teleconversation. However, you must contact us to let us know that you accept our invitation, and to get the conference line telephone number.
We look forward to hearing from you and being with you on one of the calls.
With our love,
Sandy and Lon
(760) 603-8343
Email sandy@familiesbydesign.com & lon@familiesbydesign.com
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In the past we have scheduled our workshops in various areas of the world and then set about enrolling people into those workshops. We are trying something different for 2010.
We're asking you to tell us when and where you would prefer to see our workshops offered, and then we will schedule them. And while that may entail a bit of work on your part, we would rather be responsive to you and your ideas than ask you to plan your participation around ours.
Please do us a major favor by considering which workshops you, your family, and your friends may be interested in, and then telling us when and where you would like to see them offered.
Our workshops include:
We have produced several weeklong, vacation-based workshops in Hawaii, Sunriver (Oregon) and Los Cabos (Mexico), and we're open to new locations. We have produced our other workshops in San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, Denver, Baltimore, Brighton (England) and Ensenada (Mexico), and we're also open to new locations. (We already have requests for Relationship: The Missing Link workshops in the Washington, D.C. area, January 30-31 and in New Jersey, February 6-7, 2010.)
Please be our guides for planning 2010 by contacting us right away!
Call us at 760/603-8343 or 760/485-1026 (cell)
or Email sandy@familiesbydesign.com & lon@familiesbydesign.com
If you are interested in hosting one of our workshops in your geographical area, please call us, and together we will schedule, plan and produce the workshop. People who have hosted in the past have had an enjoyable and rewarding time of it.
With our appreciation,
Lon and Sandy Golnick
Relationship & FamiliesByDesign