About Relationship and Family
from Wiley Miller, "Why We'll Never Understand Each Other"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life.
Father Alfred D'Souza
Just recently, during one of our normal early evening conversations, we found ourselves once again looking beyond the present to a time when everything in our life will be just the way we've always dreamed. Our work will be thriving; our home will be impeccable; any health concerns will be resolved; our financial future will be guaranteed; and our entire family will be happy and healthy, with no current or pending crises. We talked about how great our life will be when we reach that time.
Suddenly, we realized that once again we were being run by a demand on ourselves to produce the results required to reach our goals (believing that once we reach our goals, we can relax and coast to death).
Likely, we are not unique in our penchant to get caught up in thinking about our goals and what it takes to reach them. We seem to be living in an era in which the drumbeat is "Be productive! Be goal-oriented! Produce the result!"
Unfortunately, many of us are marching to the same drumbeat in our relationships and families. Our goal is to get them to turn out the way we want them to be, the way we think they should be, and we're working on accomplishing that goal, on producing that result. And while our attention is on getting our relationships to turn out, we often fail to experience the full measure of wonder, love and fulfillment available to us in our relationships now.
What if we did not subscribe to "Produce the Result" in our relationships? What if we gave up trying to get our relationships - family, partners, lovers, etc. - to turn out? What if we acknowledged ourselves for being related - naturally? And what if we were to express and celebrate our relationships - just the way they are?
Sooner or later we must realize there is no one place to arrive at once and for all.
Robert J. Hastings
Be well, and enjoy your relationships and your families.
With our love,
Sandy and Lon Golnick
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Special Announcements
After nearly two years of publishing this monthly newsletter, we're revamping it. Beginning in April, you will receive CONNECTED twice-a-month, with a new look.
Once a month, we intend to include an article written by a guest contributor. Guess who? YOU! Yes, you - our fellow explorers - are invited to contribute to this newsletter.
We invite you to share your experience of your relationships and families - what has been happening, your insights and your accomplishments - in a short article of up to 200 words. Please send us your articles as soon as possible. We will make sure that your article gets published in the newsletter.
We eagerly anticipate your contribution! Thank you in advance for making a difference in relationships and families all around you.
Our 13-minute audio introduction to our work is now available on the website. You and your friends can listen to it on www.relationshipbydesign.com.
Please give us your feedback about the introduction. And thank you for your partnership and support.
Coming Up
Our fourth set of teleconversations for the continuing exploration and support of relationships and families will begin on April 22. The topic of the three conversations in this set is Certainty and Security in Relationships. We will be sending a special announcement about our teleconversations under a separate cover very soon.
The calls begin at 6:00pm Pacific Time and end no later than 7:15pm. The cost is $75 for the set of 3 conversations. Please call us for details and to register.
Check out www.familiesbydesign.com to see our current schedule of workshops for relationships, parents and families.
Stress in Relationships and Families
A few more insights emerged during the second of our three teleconversations regarding stress in families and relationships.
Let us know what you see.