Happily Ever After ... What?

The title of the book we are writing is "Happily Ever After ... What?" Here's cartoonist Wiley Miller's take on it:

"Wedded bliss: One of the great oxymorons
in the English Language.

The is nothing quite like marriage to teach us
just how little we understand each other.
Logic would dictate that the longer you're married,
the greater your understanding will be
of the opposite sex.
The problem with logic, however, is when
it runs smack into human nature.
It seems the more we think we know about the
other, the more trouble we get ourselves into."

from Miller's book "Why We'll Never Understand Each Other"

Lasting Relationships

You cannot escape relationship. Whether you are aware of it or not, your past relationships, good or bad, have a way of sticking around, even when (perhaps especially when) they ended badly. Former relationships do not go away. This is also true for the persons with whom you are currently in relationship. Their past relationships get included in their current relationship with you.

Maybe you were betrayed, shocked, hurt, disappointed or angered in an earlier relationship. Persons with whom you are currently in relationship may have some of those experiences too.

We have found that in many cases, those who felt betrayed or hurt in previous relationships often wish "bad karma" for those they felt betrayed or hurt by. You might have a secret wish that the betrayer's future relationships do not work for them, that they in turn get disappointed or hurt.

There is nothing inherently wrong with that. BUT it takes energy and attention to hold on to that wish, energy that you could use to fulfill other wishes and goals.

Is there someone that you have been harboring ill will toward? Who do you think really pays the price? Is it worth it? Can you just let them be, and thereby create some freedom for yourself?