Games Worth Playing

What's missing now?  Games worth playing?

We've identified three relationship games that may have been quite ordinary many years ago, but seem to often fade into nostalgia. These games are:

• "Please will you...?"
• "Thank you", and
• "I forgive you for..."

These games reflect honor in the players and respect for the other players - both of which lead to the experience of being acknowledged and appreciated.

It's easy to slip into making these games "the right way to behave", and to forget about the nature - and joy - of designing and playing games together.

About Games

The point of playing a game:
     GAINING (vs. winning)
Benefits (what is gained) in playing a game:
     MEMORIES - of the past
     EXPERIENCE - in the present
     LEARNING - for the future
Requirements for creating a game:
     PLAYERS (designers)
     PURPOSE (reason for playing)
     GOALS (intended outcomes/results)

Key things to consider in designing a game:

1. BENEFITS - Why the game is being played
2. TIME - When the game starts and ends
3. PLAYING FIELD/GAME BOARD - Where the game is played
4. RULES (including consequences) - What is the game being played
5. PRINCIPLES - How the game is played most effectively.

Powerful purposes, goals and principles are derived from your basic values - the ways of being that inspire and enliven you.

The design of a game

• Something is [said to be] more important than something else.
• What is not [existing now] is [said to be] more important than what is.
• Rules are the agreed upon paths to attaining what is now not [existing].
• A game does not have rules. A game is rules.
  No rules = no game.
• Playing a game is taking actions consistent with the rules. If your actions are not consistent with the rules, you are not playing the game.
• All actions result in correlated outcomes/consequences.
• Consequences demonstrate whether you are or are not playing the game, and to what extent you are engaged in mastering the game.
• Establishing "positive" consequences is establishing incentives for playing the game fully and attaining its full benefits.
• Establishing "negative" consequences is establishing incentives for returning to the game and its benefits.
• A game has a playing surface or field with measures and a scoreboard/display to see the status of the game.
• A game starts at a specific time and ends at a specific time.
• What makes a game fascinating is that there are obstacles to get through, and you can lose.
• What can you lose in the relationship game? Perhaps the freedom, peace and ease that comes with experiencing relationship as a game and with seeing yourself as the author of your version of the relationship game.

Remember - there is no such "thing" as a game. It is created and exists in language. It is made up. It has no inherent significance or meaning - and yet it matters. Playing a game makes a difference!