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Coming Up
Kauai, Hawaii Extraordinary Relationships, Oct. 15-22
San Diego
Relationship: The Missing Link, Oct. 1-2
See what's left in our 2011 schedule!
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Relationship and Family Coaching
Workshops
Relationship: The Missing Link
Reinventing the Heart and Soul of Family
About Relationship and Family
When relationships are not going so well, we hear two common reasons for that situation: 1) a lack of communication, and 2) misunderstandings, together with assigning blame for those two things.
But what we call "a lack of communication" is probably not an actual absence of communication. A lot of communication is going on - both verbal and non-verbal. What we really mean is he's not saying what I want to hear or she's not doing what I want her to do.
Could that fit your own experience?
By default, our first concern is for ourselves. Given that our attention is on ourselves, we become attached to what we want to do and have and to what we want to hear or have others do.
We may have little interest in providing - or even knowing - what the other wants. Especially if it might be contrary to what we want. We are often inconsiderate of others! We are unconcerned about what they are dealing with in their lives, or in supporting them in resolving their concerns, especially if it doesn't fit within our own wants.
No wonder we have misunderstandings! Misunderstandings arise because we don't listen - especially when what's being said or done does not fit with what we want them to say or do.
The access to understanding and communication is listening. Try listening with an intention to "get into their world". We believe that a new world will begin to emerge - an "our world". In our experience, having an "our world", along with a couple of my worlds, is intriguing, fun and fulfilling.
Enjoy your "our world"!
With our love,
Sandy and Lon
A Refreshing Experience
We just returned from our first vacation-based workshop aboard a cruise ship. During our voyage from Vancouver, BC to Alaska, in our Extraordinary Relationship II: Living It workshop, we gained some exciting new insights into relationships and their relationship with their surrounding communities (see Community... below). And each and every one in the workshop expressed their intention to co-create another cruise vacation workshop next year..
 Carol and Paul - summertime in College Fjord, Alaska |
 Sandy - summertime in Anchorage, Alaska |
Whether you have previously been in one of our workshops or not, we invite you to refresh your experience of your relationships and family. Use one of our remaining 2011 workshops to shift experiences of upset, frustration and tension to experiences of peace, freedom and ease. Join us in any of the following:
| San Diego, CA | Oct. 1-2 | Relationship: The Missing Link |
| Kauai, HI | Oct. 15-22 | Extraordinary Relationship II: Living It |
| Los Cabos, MX | Nov. 5-12 | Extraordinary Relationship: The Freedom of Commitment |
| Los Cabos, MX | Nov. 12-19 | Extraordinary Relationship II: Living It |
| San Diego | Dec. 3 | Parents: Outside the Trap |
In Kauai we'll be in the Princeville area, and we can possibly find a 1- or 2-bedroom condo there for you for under $1000 for the week.
In Los Cabos we'll be at a resort in which all of your meals and beverages are included with your room for under $1000 per twosome for the week.
As soon as you can, e-mail us at sandy@familiesbydesign.com or call 760/603-8343 to register for the workshop of your choice or to get more information.
 Heather and Matt - ready for dinner |
 Carol and Jeff at the captain's formal dinner |
 Suzanne and Jan dogsledding on the ship |
 Penny, Heather, Matt, Lon, Barry and Sandy not at the captain's formal dinner |
While community is a familiar concept and a commonly used word in everyday conversations, in our view the nature and power of community is overlooked and underappreciated.
We recently became interested in exploring "community" because of the effects that communities, families and relationships have on each other. Those effects can be supportive or non-supportive, constructive or destructive.
A community is defined as a group of people having concerns or interests in common. Communities range from being very inclusive to highly exclusive, depending upon the breadth of their concerns and interests.
In our initial exploration of community we see that communities are closely attached to their set of concerns and interests, as they should be, since the existence of the community is based on those shared concerns and interests.
Communities are shaped by, and promote, the views and concerns to which they are dedicated. And communities, being comprised of many individuals and relationships, impact both their environment and their constituency.
All of this points to the importance of being aware of the communities to which your relationship or family belong, so that the community can support you in what you are up to, and you can support the community in making the difference it intends to make.
More to come as our exploration continues!
www.familiesbydesign.com and www.relationshipbydesign.com
Sandy and Lon Golnick
Relationship and Families ByDesign